Its been a difficult year for us all. If your familiar with me you would know this year i was getting everything i ever wanted. An extension to the best year of my life last year.
this year clearly hadn't worked out as planned. I planned to be settled overseas by now too have had a nice time with the people i refer to as my family. But here i am in isolation in what appears to be almost Pre-end of times. I think in reality Im living in a sheltered part of my mind maybe i don't want to accept its real yet.
All those numbers and so many people on tv just talking as though they are numbers but they are in-fact people. Lies and politics- $$ over heart beats. In honesty this world sickens me. Not the nature but the people who run it and how we all follow along like its okay that people are numbers. That money is more important than someones ability to breathe or protect themselves from disease. That some how with people ridden with disease all over the globe there are still missiles being sent there is still war. There are still things hanging over living human beings heads and human beings are being used as pawns in a huge amount of unwinnable wars. You think we would all be loosing enough and could take fingers off the red buttons for a few months and instead of playing blame games come up with a cure. Work together as a human race- one positive thing about alien and zombie movies at least humans stop worrying about skin colour or religion and have a common enemy.
Anyway... clearly i have had enough and having to sit in a little made up box where i pretend to be in the mood I'm not doing it. I couldn't feel further like working right now. As many would know I'm a traditionalist i want to get married have babies and never divorce. So I'm chilling here in what feels like the beginning of the end and i realize I'm quiet far from who i want to be.
This year my life was going to be doing a 180 and a back-flip. I intended on that being my own decision but currently i feel as though it has been made for me. I am having sometime out obviously my financial goals have now been shattered like many others. I had a lot planned for my year in regards to savings and completing my set up overseas. I wanted to do as much as possible independently.
I'm not too sure where this Covid19 will leave Armarni B, possibly she will still need to make some more savings before the move or possibly i will be heard and it will be time for me to move along. I know logically i will need to return. But i know in my heart what i want and hope for.
i was lucky this last 2 years I've met so many great guys and really fine tuned my online presence too get more of who i really am across. But as those who know me are aware i have a very different part of me and that is what so many of you seem to adore and that part of me is what i am afraid of destroying the most.
I guess time will tell where things are at i hope your healthy and have the support you need. Best of luck guys.
wishing you
Safety and health
Armarni Bulkani
Comments